Now I know what you must be thinking by now.
That tortoise, what does he have to complain about?
Well wait until I tell you about my childhood.
Then you'll all be begging to give me your hankies.
However, please don't as I have no use nor want for a hankie.
You see, before I was even born and before my owners had children, my owners took another tortoise captive.
This was a good friend of mine and they didn't even call him by his name!
He had just been out for a nice walk (he had not escaped!) when he unfortunately wandered into the front garden of my owners.
So of course they decided to take advantage of this poor defenceless tortoise.
They held him there (I expect for ransom) for about a week, so I'm told and then he was returned to his owners.
However, this experience had made my owners desperate for a tortoise.
Thus, my story began.
But, in the time between they began looking for a tortoise and the time they actually acquired me, they had a baby.
Then they got me.
And do you know what?
I don't think that they actually wanted me!
They also got my friend Zoe at the same time, but that is another tragic story, that I don't really want to go into at the moment.
Save that for next time shall we?
For now though, all the best.
Henry
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